My hubby is not proud to be a veteran

November 9, 2015

Yesterday our church held a wonderful service in honoring our countries servicemen and women and veterans in early recognition for Veterans day coming Wednesday. After service a special lunch was hosted by our church family for Veterans and their families. We attended and enjoyed the food and drinks and while we ate I looked at my husband across the table feeding one of the toddlers and just felt proud and honored for his service to our country.

As we neared the middle half of our meal I made mention to our six year old Nevaeh that we were eating and celebrating the men and women who fought for our country, our soldiers and I told her that “daddy was a soldier and is now a Veteran.” After some talking Nevaeh asked my husband “what did you do as a soldier?”


My husband and I looked at each other, how could this be explained to a six year old in the moment? My husbands response “My job was to kill people.” There he had said it and without glancing her way he held a moment of regret mixed with bitterness on his face. She didn’t question and we didn’t talk about it further. We didn’t sugar coat it and tell her “oh daddy fought for our country so that we could be free” or “daddy wanted to fight off bad guys.” No, the truth was spoken and this my friends and readers is why my husband is not proud to be a veteran.

Sure my husband enjoys being honored with freebies like free meals and things on Veterans day and the perks of his Post 9/11 G.I. Bill for schooling, but he will be honest with people and tell them he was never proud to be a soldier.


Through out our marriage I have tried to dig deep into the root of why he isn’t proud and here are a list of things he has told me:

1). He was young when he made the decision
2). His cousin died while he was in training and he couldn’t even attend the funeral back home
3). He served in Afghanistan for a year and was shot at and life at risk daily
4). He suffers from PTSD to this day (certain sounds makes him think something is going off).
5). BIG ONE- He is not proud of America and what we have become. Yes, at times he would rather we move to a different country (like Israel). His reasons- We have lost our morals and turned our back on God and we have rejected the principles our whole country was founded upon and based on. Our country has become, do what is right in your eyes.
6). He is not proud of his once job description in the army- to kill!

Sure many of you may think well he shouldn’t have gone into the military as he must have known what he was getting in to. Actually he didn’t thinking much about combat, however 911 happened and BOOM war. There he was serving Army infantry at the lines of death and war in an unknown country far from home and family.

Yesterday I asked him though about some of the positives of serving our country:
1). Free housing, good benefits
2). His camaraderie and men he served with, he met one of his best friends this way.
3). He drew closer to God and felt a calling for ministry
4). Veterans day benefits
5). It made him go from a boy to a man


While my husband may not be proud of his former Army career and all that entailed I am proud to say I appreciate and am honored for what he went through and for all that he did to do what he could.

My outfit today is in honoring him and all the soldiers that have (and still are) fighting for our country.I added blue with the jeans, red in the shirt and a touch of Olive or Army green military jacket I recently recieved in collaboration again with Brandzaffair. Brandzaffair is a site that lets you navigate and shop your favorite stores like Target and Old Navy without the hassel of remembering website URL’s as they are all in one place for the ultimate shopping experience. I just love how thick this jacket is for the cooler part of the day in this fall weather and how comfortable it still is for the rising temperatures, plus it’s stylish and versatile, win win and win.


How are you honoring Veterans on veterans day? Are the ones you know that served proud?

Outfit details:Jacket:c/o Target via Brandzaffair (similar here)//Scarf: Style Girl Boutique (similar here)//Blouse: c/o Mint Julep Boutique (similar here)//Pants: similar here//Boots: similar here. 

*Brandzaffair sent me the following item in exchange for a review of their site however all opninions are mine alone and not that of Brandzaffair.

Linking up with: Turning Heads Tuesday Lisa, Melissa, Style Me Wednesday, Trendy Wednesday, Sandyalamode, Confident Twosday, Pumps and Push-ups, Thursday Fashion Files, Whitney, Grace, Trend-Spin,Leelo, Michelle, The Mummy Chronicles, Alice, Spotlight Weekly, Top of the World Style, Two Peas in a Blog (Tuesdays), Style Elixir (Tuesdays), The Style Files (Fridays), Elegantly Fashionable, Jaymie, Lauren, Carylee, Rachelle, Cappaccino and Fashion, Book of Leisure, Monica, Carrie, Style Me Weekly, Forage Fashion, Myriad Musings, Jennie, Molly, Cherie, Not dead Yet Style, Clairejustinexoxo, Tuesday Talk

You Might Also Like

  • Lexie Robinson November 9, 2015 at 9:35 am

    I thank your husband and all of our warriors from the bottom of my heart. I’m sorry he suffers in this way, but praise God he has a wife devoted to caring for him. I will pray for your family and all military families. They’re service means a lot to this country and we will forever remember our brave heroes.

    P.S. It’s good you didn’t sugar-coat it for your daughter. One day she would understand and it is important to be clear and honest with children.

  • the cape on the corner November 9, 2015 at 10:43 am

    i think that was a really important post, and i’m glad you didn’t hold back.

  • Ada November 9, 2015 at 10:56 am

    The title really made me read this post ASAP. Yes, how do you explain to a child that you have to kill in order to save a country and help protect it.

    I love your anorak jacket, so nice!

  • Callie November 9, 2015 at 11:58 am

    I have to say, I don’t think saying that soldiers fight to defend our freedom is sugar-coating the job description, because defending our country and freedom is part of it. Without our soldiers, current and through history, where would we be? I totally get not being proud of America as it is now, but I will always be proud of the principles we were founded on, even though many may have abandoned them. And I thank your husband for his service. It makes me sad that he doesn’t feel good about being a veteran, because we owe him and others like him so much. <3

  • Becky @ bybmg November 9, 2015 at 1:00 pm

    We appreciate his service. I’m sure it is tough processing all of it for him.

  • Irene November 9, 2015 at 1:17 pm

    Amazing post dear! I invite you to join a Giveaway on my blog:

  • Brooke November 9, 2015 at 1:18 pm

    First, you look so cute, I love the jacket. Second, thank you for sharing this personal post. It’s hard to know exactly how our servicemen and women feel, they really don’t get the credit or the respect they deserve.

    Pumps and Push-Ups

  • Carrie @ Curly Crafty Mom November 9, 2015 at 2:25 pm

    It sounds like your husband has been through a lot and as a young man I am sure it was a difficult time and process for him. To risk your life every day for ones country is the hardest job anyone could ever possibly have. I thank him for his time and service and I am glad he is still here to be a great husband and father to your little ones. And, I love that jacket on you!


  • Shann November 9, 2015 at 3:19 pm

    Thank you for the honest post, and sharing your husband’s feelings. I’m sure many Veterans feel the same. I am still very thankful to him and for all the soldiers that protect us and our freedom.

  • Johanna November 9, 2015 at 4:42 pm

    You look perfectly Fall in this Fall! Thanks for the honest post!

  • Sarah @ Bows and Clothes November 9, 2015 at 6:27 pm

    This is a great post! I love your outfit! The colors look so good together!


  • Rachel November 9, 2015 at 8:20 pm

    Beautiful, I love this cute look on you. So cozy and casual.

  • Shaunacey November 9, 2015 at 8:31 pm

    so much is expected of the men and women who serve in the military and I think, too often, the cost far outweigh the benefits. I’m glad your hubby has a supportive spouse to walk that journey with him.

  • Laura November 9, 2015 at 10:21 pm

    I’m so sorry your husband isn’t proud of the fact he served, but regardless, I know myself and so many others are so proud of him! The bravery of the men and women serving in our military, past and present, astounds me! Thanks so much for the honesty – love your outfit as well:)


  • Lisa November 9, 2015 at 11:05 pm

    Such a beautiful post. Thank you for sharing your story XOXO Lisa @

  • Lin November 10, 2015 at 2:57 pm

    Defending OUR country is what my husband did for 25 years active duty with the USAF. I’m proud of him. He, on the other hand, feels he just did the job he signed up to do. Nothing more, nothing less. It makes me sad to hear your husband, in his short military stint, reduces it to something so negative. I think he is right though, you should more to Israel.

  • Donna November 11, 2015 at 12:35 pm

    I respect what you husband has to say and wish you both peace. Hugs…

  • Tif @ Bright on a Budget November 11, 2015 at 10:53 pm

    I can’t even imagine going through what your husband has. Please thank him for his service from the bottom of my heart. And cute outfit too!


  • Ana Luiza November 13, 2015 at 3:14 pm

    It’s moving to hear your husband’s story. Thank you for sharing with us
    Thank for linking up with us on Start the Week Stylish!
    – Ana Luiza
    The Northwest Blonde