Impatience and worth

April 14, 2015

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Hello everyone, thank you so much for yesterdays post and for your thoughts or prayers as I look into jewelry sells, I appreciate that, and I also thank many of you for just reminding me to stop being so hard on myself when it comes to how pictures turn out or I turn out looking. You are the best! While yesterdays post was all peaches and cream and fun for me, todays is honestly about REAL life and my feelings from last week. It was spring break for Nevaeh so she was home all week and between her and the toddlers it was a bit crazy. Through in bad weather and one vehicle it was a little tough to get out and go anywhere.
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With the rain and active children and new blog there also came with everything little disappointments, feelings of impatience and drowning in the sorrows of where I was putting my self-worth where I shouldn’t have. I love blogging (it’s obvious to those who follow me) but there has been some moments where I am let down or dissapointed and then there are moments where I am so filled with joy I can’t wait to tell others or to share. Again as I mentioned before, last week was filled with disappointments though.

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Here are some things that I became disappointed in. Back in December, I was contacted to collaborate with a company and choose clothing to review for them. I told them I couldn’t at the time because of my fasting coming up in January and that I would love to do so in February. February rolled around, I selected the items to review I was told my order was being placed and THEN…oops they actually weren’t collaborating with bloggers at the time so my order would have to wait and I was told to contact them weeks later. A month or two went by and I contacted them again and waited for about half a week and got a response that crushed me. New criteria, I didn’t meet their new standards. My follower count was too low and while they thought I would have been a great candidate to review their items they had to follow the new guidelines which I don’t blame them for but honestly it crushed me. I felt like I was promised a gift that I picked out and then it was never to be given or easily attainable and that my waiting and reaching out had been a waste.

Then I waited for a week or more to have my Instagram up and working like it should (I wasn’t able to see pictures I hashtagged) and then bloglovin.com support team was taking a bit to get my followers switched from my old bloglovin account to my new one (here) and by the end of the news of “you don’t meet the criteria” as mentioned above I literally got sick. I felt so tired, so drained, so worthless.

I hated that I had to wait and I felt like it had been for nothing. I felt like I wasn’t worthy, that all my worth was in this little blog and social media. That night I DID NOT and DID NOT FEEL LIKE blogging, instead I just took a late evening nap, woke up to shed a few tears and be with God. I spent most of the night talking with God and letting Him know how sorry I was for being so impatient and for putting my self-worth into the missed collaboration, or instagram or bloglovin on what others thought of me.

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Then Romans chapter 4 popped in my head, so I reached for my Bible and read this chapter and while most of it concerned Abraham as being justified by faith I found it interesting that there was mention of Abraham having hope that he would one day be the ‘father of many nations’ though he and his wife Sarah were old, and how through faith he waited on the promise of being ‘father of many nations’ while he and Sarah waited to have children.

Then I thought of Joshua in the Bible and how he waited seven years to marry Rachel while working for Rachel’s father but was handed Leah (Rachel’s older sister) after those seven years for marriage. After he married Leah (whom he did not love) he then worked another seven years for Rachel and Leah’s father and was finally given Rachel as his bride.

It is amazing how God reminded me of patience and promises through His word and to those He loved or I mentioned above. I prayed for God to give me patience, and to help me with my doubt of my worth.

Instantly my instagram seemed to be back to normal, and my followers were moved over on bloglovin the next morning. While I missed the chance to collaborate with the company, another company ended up contacting me just yesterday for a fun collaboration that I can’t wait to share in the next few weeks; so all is well.
**Remember to come back tomorrow to link up to a new monthly link up that some blogger friends and I are hosting called “How I Style It” and the theme is colored pants. You can link-up up to three posts related to “colored pants” and how you wore or styled them. (must have a follow link, not blog and link back to one of our blogs)***

Outfit Details- Shirt: thrifted (similar here and here)//Sandals: Mossimo via Target, same here)//Bracelet: c/o My Arm Charms “Buckle Up” (same here). *Thanks to my sister Annalise for capturing these photos. *If you click on any of the links contained in the outfit details or photos below I make a few cents, thank you.

Rachel xo

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  • Orbb April 14, 2015 at 7:48 am

    I am so glad that you are feeling better! We all need an occasion to take a bit of time out & having a personal conversation with a higher power/the universe. It can be very spiritually fulfilling. BTW you look lovely today 🙂 wonderful style

  • IRENE April 14, 2015 at 8:06 am

    love your honest post! beautiful pictures!

    Irene
    http://www.thedailylace.com

  • Ashley April 14, 2015 at 8:42 am

    It’s a bummer when a collab falls through- especially when you’re all excited and ready to go. Hopefully there is something just around the corner- I’m sure there is! Just keep concentrating on your content + your readers.

    And loving the sandals, girl!

    -Ashley
    Le Stylo Rouge

  • Tea April 14, 2015 at 9:48 am

    I’m sorry you had so many disappointments last week! But I am glad that you found the time to read some scripture and just rely on God. This whole blogging thing can be super tricky sometimes! And as for the missed collaboartion? Well, they obviously can’t see what they’re missing out on: better things will come your way!
    Tea
    http://www.whatmamawear.blogspot.ca

  • Ginny April 14, 2015 at 9:51 am

    I have been where you are, pouring myself into my little hobby, but I’m reminded that is what my blog is, a hobby. God calls us to glorify him in all we do, and now I try not to focus too much time and energy into my hobby, but when I do I want it to be about him as much as it can be.

  • Shauna April 14, 2015 at 10:19 am

    Thank you for sharing your honest post with us. This the part of blogging that I love. You are truly inspirational and beautiful!

    Shauna

    http://www.lipglossandlace.net

  • Mary María April 14, 2015 at 11:01 am

    Cool! Your blog is very cute! Enjoy the day, sweetie!!

    >>> Join my International dress Giveaway <<<

  • Becky @ bybmg April 14, 2015 at 12:50 pm

    It always amazes me how God can make things fall into place. Glad things are falling back into place for you!

  • Susan April 14, 2015 at 3:45 pm

    You are a precious child of God and worthy in His sight. Keep on keeping on!

  • Kathleen April 14, 2015 at 10:18 pm

    Very inspiring story! I always tell myself that if everything’s not okay, it’s not the end yet. You look great by the way, loving your sandals!
    <3
    katsfashionfix.blogspot.com

  • Denise April 14, 2015 at 11:31 pm

    Don’t worry about it. I know that there are definitely days where I cannot do this. There are times where I am almost in tears taking pictures because something doesn’t work! We have all been there, so definitely know that we all get these kinds of frustrations!
    Love your dress and I have those sandals, so obviously I love them!

    Denise | Fashion Love Letters

  • kelsey bang April 15, 2015 at 2:04 am

    loving those sandals! such a cool outfit!
    kelseybang.com

  • Ting April 15, 2015 at 3:05 am

    Lovely outfit! xo

    Eatlovemerry| Youtube

  • Keri April 15, 2015 at 6:06 am

    Love that dress 🙂 Blogging can really drain you and get you thinking the wrong way. I have found I really have to guard against that. It is so easy to find your self worth in it rather than in who you are in Christ. I love following your journey. I truly believe as we are patient and continue to seek God first, things will grow 🙂 Thanks for linking this with Tues Talk!

  • Carrie @ Curly Crafty Mom April 15, 2015 at 11:25 am

    Let me tell you, collaborations will fall through ALL the time… I’ve had it happen to me more times then I’d like and honestly I just don’t let it bother me anymore and I look forward to and keep busy with the ones I have. I am so glad a new one fell into your lap and that your IG and Bloglovin’ are back up again! Yay! You are beautiful in these pics and I am still thinking I need those sparkly gold sandals!!

  • Ada April 16, 2015 at 7:57 am

    This dress is so cute and fun, Rach!