How to Stop Comparing yourself to other Bloggers: Tips and encouragement & Giveaway

September 7, 2015

howtostopcomparing

Last week was a rough week, I won’t go into the full details but one thing that hit me at a breaking point was sitting in front of my computer and reading the blog of a girl much younger than me, celebrating her 1 year of blogging. I had never read her blog before but stumbled upon it from a Blogging group and in the post she celebrated all the big things that happened to her blog in a year…her stats read triple than mine and I have been blogging for almost 2 years in January (granted I did switch to self-hosted in April of 2015 but the blog and name stayed the same). Looking at her stats and then seeing the stats or lovely sites of other bloggers (some newer to blogging) I began comparing myself to them and felt annoyed with blogging because of it…rather than joy! I lost my motivation for a few days (hence no post on Friday).
While I sat in my un-motivated to blog mode I finally talked with my husband about my annoyance and he simply said “that girl you read about is in college and so of course she has more time to blog, whereas you have 4 kids and blog because you like it and when you can.” I praised his encouragement and prayed on blogging a bit. Then Friday night in the shower a revelation came to mind, or a God breathed reminder of Psalm 139:14 which reads “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” and somehow I knew I needed to change my thinking as to how I compare myself and how I needed to value myself and my uniqueness, not that of other bloggers. I began thanking God that I had some time to blog, grew more confident in myself, working with others and more. I began to value me in comparison to other bloggers and then I thought instead of doing a whole post in self-pity of comparing myself I will list some tips or encouragement for “How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Other Bloggers,” so here we go:

1). Realize your own talents and beauty. Remember Psalm 139:14 above.
2). Talk with someone you can confide in or even another blogger and let them know your struggle, perhaps who you are comparing yourself too is on another level, or perhaps the blogger has been blogging longer but is still improving themselves.
3). Realize the circumstances of your life. Some bloggers blog full time or have more time to blog than perhaps you can. Realize your own life and priorities and where does blogging fit in there. Do what you can.
4). How many bloggers or brands worked with have you inspired? Encouraged? Think on those bloggers or brands e-mails, tweets, comments and realize how you helped them in some way. (I have made a lot of partnerships or friendships this way).
5). Instead of harbouring jealousy contact that blogger you compare yourself to and find out their tips on growing their blog, etc. Who knows a friendship or partnership could unfold.
6). Write down truths about yourself as a person and blogger. Who are you? What makes you different than other bloggers? From the bloggers you compare yourself to.
7). Consider praying for the bloggers you compare yourself to. Perhaps they have some personal issues going on that you either do know or don’t know about.
8). Sometimes other bloggers have more resources (financial, connections, time, PR’s with brands, followers, etc) and remember this takes time in itself to build.
9). Is there something about the other blogger that you admire and would love to recreate? Do so and mention them, give a shout out. Acknowledge that you love their work or posts regardless of comparing or jealousy at times.
10). Rejoice with them when they make a feature in a magazine, or get nominated for a certain reward. Or when a big event happens in their life. Let them know you rejoice for them or vote for them to be nominated etc.
11). If you have ever felt like that blogger was once snobby or way to different from you- think again later on down the road as you may find out you have more in common than you thought and collaborations or at least a cordial friendship could unfold.
12). Take a break from blogging and pray, or come up with another creative outlet for awhile until you are ready to ease back into blogging.

There are probably more tips and encouragement I could give, but the mentioned tips are ones I have done or would love to do, especially when I get into a comparison rut.
With that in mind what tips or encouragement do you have or do when you find yourself comparing yourself to other bloggers?

Now on to an exciting giveaway.
Twitter Giveaway

Several other bloggers and myself are hosting a $60 Target gift card giveaway, see details below:
The giveaway will open on Monday, September 7th and will close Monday September 14th. We will announce a winner no later then the 17th. In order to win, they must follow everyone’s twitter account and we will be verifying. Giveaway twitter accounts will not count! The giveaway will be for a 60 dollar giftcard to target! Open to US residents only please!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Linking up to: Creative Corner, Still Being Molly, Tuesday Talk

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  • Carrie @ Curly Crafty Mom September 7, 2015 at 12:13 am

    Blogging is so hard and I think all of us have done the compare game! I was just looking at my numbers the other day and realized they are down just this month and it was not a pleasant feeling. I then started thinking of reasons why (end of summer vacations, people returning to school, etc.) and I had to stop myself. Anyway, great and thought provoking post, Rachel!

    Carrie
    curlycraftymom.com

  • Jaymie Ashcraft September 7, 2015 at 8:39 am

    I love your blog! Keep up the great work. πŸ™‚
    Jaymie
    http://www.jaymieashcraft.com
    Fridays Fashions link up.

  • Abby September 7, 2015 at 8:52 am

    I have to commend you for being open about your feelings. It can be hard to open up sometimes and make yourself vulnerable. But I am glad that I chanced upon this post because I too have times wherein I am hit with jealousy. We don’t all get the same opportunities, because there are different opportunities for each of us. WHo knows, you might have a collaboration or partnership that she wished for but never had. I can be a negative nancy sometimes but we all go through this phase. It is a good thing you have someone you can open up to!

    xo,
    Abby of Life in the Fash Lane

    • Abby September 7, 2015 at 8:53 am

      And if I may add, you are amazing for even still having the time to blog with 4 kids. I can’t imagine myself in your position and don’t know if I’d still be able to keep up with blogging as often as you can!

  • Sarah September 7, 2015 at 11:33 am

    This is such a great post, Rachel! Thank you for being so transparent. I too struggle with comparison. Great tips!

    Sarah
    http://mybowsandclothes.blogspot.com

  • Lee September 7, 2015 at 4:55 pm

    Such a great post Rachel! It’s definitely hard not to compare yourself, and all of us bloggers go through “slumps” where we feel discouraged. I always love that you include amongst your fashion posts like this that inspire people!

    Xo
    Lee | LegalLee Blonde

  • Leah September 7, 2015 at 7:23 pm

    These are such great tips! It is something I struggle with ALL the time, and often wonder how I can overcome in a healthy way. Thanks so much for sharing! If you get a second, I would love to hear your thoughts on my latest.

    xx Leah / http://www.eatpraywearlove.com

  • Becky @ bybmg September 7, 2015 at 9:34 pm

    Comparison can definitely get me down sometimes. I just have to let it go. I know I’ll never be a “superstar” blogger, but I know I share a lot in my little corner and even if one person benefits, it’s worth it.

  • Anna Shirley September 7, 2015 at 9:59 pm

    Your husband is right, Rachel. Thanks God for ours encouraging husbands. o) This was great and honest post. I guess, everybody is doing some kind of comparison. I am doing comparison. Maybe this is not a bad thing to do. Maybe this is just a way how to learn and improve your blog. And not only blog. For me, this is what is blogging about: sharing and learning.

  • Ally Fiesta September 8, 2015 at 1:07 am

    This was such an awesome read. I can not compare myself to ANY blogger since I started off my blog to be music focused. So now that I switched to lifestyle blogging I am still just trying to figure out what to even post about YET I sometimes wonder how others can do it. It has been great this past summer to reach out & get awesome feed back. Thank you again for these tips.

  • The Gifted Gabber September 8, 2015 at 1:29 am

    I definitely needed to read this tonight and realize that I am not the only one struggling with this. I have experienced almost the exact same situation you described. I switched to self-hosted in July and have seen a mega decrease in traffic. But even before then, my numbers were peanuts compared to so many other (newer) bloggers out there. Seeing some of these newish bloggers with such a following and so many sponsors, etc. really made me sick for a while. I have been so discouraged. As a working mom of a toddler and an infant, I just don’t think I can give anymore to blogging than I already do. I already feel guilty for how much time I give to it instead of my family. I was ready to throw in the towel last week. Instead, I sat down and wrote out my goals in my blog planner. Seeing goals on paper and giving myself a set amount of time to reach them gave me some more momentum to keep going. Yet, I’ve still been feeling “robbed of joy” like you mentioned. Your tips were very helpful in changing my mindset tonight. You are so right in that our personal situations of schedules/priorities lead us into different circumstances with blog achievements. Thanks for your honesty!

  • Sabina @Oceanblue Style September 8, 2015 at 5:20 am

    Thank you so much Rachel for sharing your thoughts. The best you just did you shared your feelings. Because out there its usually -look how successul I am – but hardly ever anyone says- look my numbers slumped or I did not get an answer on a collaboration I suggested. So just there sharing is something I find very heldpful. Keep up the good work πŸ™‚ Best from Germany and thanks for hosting the link-up. Sabina | Oceanblue Style

  • Jessica September 8, 2015 at 3:50 pm

    I love the pom pom shorts and the kimono! I definitely get discouraged about blogging from time to time. I’ve been blogging for over 3 years and there are bloggers who have been blogging for a year who are way more successful. But ultimately I do it because I love it so it shouldn’t really matter.
    ~Jessica
    Jeans and a Teacup

  • michelle September 8, 2015 at 9:45 pm

    Thank you! I felt like I was the only one who feels this way. Numbers have been low on all accounts but I think too like other comments posted, it is the time of year. Plus, I’m hearing a lot of these feelings out there as you expressed. Blogging takes time, a lot of time and hey, when you are a mom and have children still at home your time needs to be there. Blogging comes second. I’m so happy you shared this on Tuesday Talk today with us as so many others need to read and know they are not alone.

  • Christie September 9, 2015 at 12:06 am

    I love how positive you always are, Rachel! I try to be positive all of the time but sometimes I get in those funks, too. It’s easy to compare yourself to others when you only see them at face value over the internet. I’ve been there! The truth is, you never know their circumstance. Maybe things aren’t so perfect behind the scenes. It’s always frustrating when you work so hard and it just seems to come easier to someone else, almost like they didn’t work for it at all. I once read a quote that said you’ll reach your full potential when you stop comparing yourself to others (or something along those lines) and it’s so true. I’ve come a long way since I started living my life by that! Everyone is here for a reason and we’re all different for a reason. You never know the impact you have on others when you’re just being you!

    Thanks for the reminder, Rachel! Hang in there! We’re all in this life together.

    Christie
    The Closet by Christie

  • Whitney@ Whitney Γ  la mode September 13, 2015 at 2:14 pm

    It’s so very easy to go down this road as a blogger and I love this list of ways to come back to a positive place with blogging. For me, when I start feeing down or jealous, I just remind myself that I’m proud of what I’ve created and I’ve remained true to myself and what I want to represent. If the hundreds of followers and the sponsorships don’t come as frequently as I would like, oh well, I’m proud of what I have made!