All of us have felt guilt, probably countless times. Over this past week I think I dealt with guilt more than I can count. Well yesterday (Sunday) my family and I did not go to church. We went out of town for fireworks and festivities on the lake and while we had no control of the time the fireworks would start or when we would be getting off the boat we were on we ended up getting home at 2:30 am AND my kids did not have good naps Saturday and did not end up falling asleep til 10 with waking up here and there through out the night. Now I know this sounds like excuses NOT to go to church but while my hubby and I are sunday school teachers and had lessons ready we knew in our hearts we were not prepared mentailly, physically or spiritually to go to church and teach with barely any sleep.
My husband and I carried guilt with us all of Sunday for not going to church because we were “tired.” In fact, my hubby and I NEVER skip church. We went to church on our honeymoon, on our vacations and even when we ask off from a Sunday from teaching we still go anyway. I carried guilt with me that I had made an excuse, or that “oh, Rachel what if you start a pattern of excuses” or what if we missed a blessing or good sermon.
My Sunday turned out horrible. Because we remained a way from home all weekend my hubby and I ended up breaking the Sabbath rest day and cleaned the house, homework, and we babysat the neighbors kid. Overall, we were tired, weighed down with guilt and couldn’t get past that we were breaking the Lord’s Sabbath, UNTIL….
Doing the dishes I remembered a sermon that my pastor preached recently about how there was a young man in the tomb of Christ as Mary Magdelene, Mary the mother of James and Salome discovered instead of Christ after the crucifixion and burial of Christ. The young man “or angel” said “Don’t be alarmed,” he said. “You are looking for Jesus the Nazarene, who was crucified . He has risen! He is not here. See the place where they laid him. But go, tell his disciples and Peter, “He is going ahead of you into Galilee. There you will see him, just as he told you.'” (Mark 16:6-7). Our pastor specifically targeted the notice of how the angel mentions go and tell not only the disciples, but Peter. Before this event Peter denied knowing Christ 3 times just as Christ had foretold would happen (see Mark 14:66-72). Imagine how Peter felt as he walked with Christ, believed in Jesus as the Son of God and loved him and then to forsake or deny even knowing Him. Imagine the guilt he faced for knowing what he had done, and yet the angel wanted Peter to know that Christ was coming to see him even after His death and resurrection. What stood out to me was how God still cared for Peter, even when he had denied Christ. Now I am not saying that I denied Christ yesterday by not going to church, but I carried guilt for not going and learning and being in Christ’s presence and in the presence of other followers and in worship. It was almost like in that instance while I did dishes I could hear Christ calling my name away from the guilt and shame and into His embrace and assurance that He still loved me and that He sent His Son to carry the guilt and shame of my sins and that I needed to give these God and realize the price paid for me already on the cross of Calvary. My guilt was taken away and I instead embraced His grace. I know God doesn’t want any of us to feel shame or guilt but sometimes I think it is one of the steps to taking further steps to realizing repentance or freedom. I couldn’t be happier knowing this.
When you carry guilt what do you do?
Outfit details: sundress: Old Navy (old, similar here)//Tank top: Mossimo via Target (old, similar Mossimo here)//Flip-flops: Old Navy (same here in different color)//Purse: dxmall//Blue plated bracelet: My Arm Charms (same here, sold out,similar My Arm Charms here, get 20% off your subtotal of $15 or more with code GARAY)//Gold stacked bracelets: Charlotte Russe (old, similar here)//Necklace: Kendra Scott (same here).