6 Things I Have Learned in 6 Years of Marriage

July 25, 2016

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Yesterday my husband and I celebrated 6 years of marriage. 6 YEARS! I am still in heaven with that thought as I love my man to pieces. We celebrated by staying at a friends lake house over night last weekend and we LOVED it. No kids, no responsibilities…just the lake, my hubby, some movies and a nice hot tub. I couldn’t ask for a better anniversary trip and better man. My husband was kind enough to take these photos on the top deck at the lake before our swim and so I am sorry if you see the tankini top seeing through, but I am not sorry at the same time as we had loads of fun.

While I thought about this post I thought it would be nice to let you know 6 things I have learned about marriage in my 6 years of being married. I am no expert and I haven’t been married for 10 + years but whether you are married for 6 months to 50 years I think the following lessons learned can be somewhat relate-able to all married couples.

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6 Things I have Learned About Marriage in my 6 Years of Being Married:

  • Put God first in the marriage.
    Now I know that not everyone reading this would agree with this first thing or even believe in the Lord Jesus Christ but we acknowledge God and put our trust in Him in ALL things. Sometimes I admit it is better said than done, but in the end when we feel weak or strong we still put our trust and belief in Him. His works are always higher than ours.
  • Don’t go to bed angry. A few times in our marriage I went to bed with hurt feelings or anger and I have learned that those make for tougher days or trouble sleeping so why wait on talking about it. Now I am not saying blow up in their face, but instead pray about the opportunity or words to say and do so in away that starts with “I feel this way when…” or “I thought we would talk about this..” and be loving…even forgiving.
  • Forgiving. We all mess up, I mess up, my husband does and we all have a past or do things that may hurt the other in some way and in those moments we must choose to forgive and talk about it and move on versus holding on to anger and unforgiveness.
  • Kiss as much as possible. Before my husband goes to work, when we greet eachother after work, and before bed and possibly 2-3 times more in the day. This is important to keep a spark of the intimacy alive plus I read somewhere that kisses and hugs in front of the kids lets them visually see your love as well, just as you kiss and love them.
  • Hold hands as much as possible. Like kissing above, keep the intimacy alive.
  • Learn their love language all over. This is an area I thought would never change when my husband and I first met and got married, but through the years what we do for each other to show we love each other can sometimes change.  Example: there was a time where words of affirmation meant a lot to me and then periods where it didn’t, and then back again. (Love languages are: showing acts of service, physical touch, words of affirmation, feeling loved through gifts and quality time together).

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There are many more things I am learning throughout these years but the above 6 are some of the first to come to my mind that I know we are continuously working on or showing each other. I am grateful for our 6 years and the love that we share and I couldn’t ask for a better marriage and man.

If you are married, how long have you been married and what advice do you have?

Outfit details: Fringe tee: Target, similar//Shorts: Old Navy, similar//Straw Hat: similar//Sandals: Michael Michael Kors, same on sale for $29.99//Earrings: Target, similar

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  • Cielo July 25, 2016 at 1:15 am

    You are such a cute couple! Great photos and thanks for sharing what you learned =)

    – Cielo
    Mermaid in Heels

  • Becky - bybmg July 25, 2016 at 7:19 am

    Happy Anniversary!! Love your outfit. So glad you got some time away!

  • Emily Green July 25, 2016 at 9:34 am

    Love this post!! This convinces me that my husband and I need to kiss more. We hold hands endlessly, but we just don’t kiss often. And you’re right, that little spark comes with it! It helps me to hear that love languages change as well. I feel like my husband and I are still learning how to love each other with the love language we have, but I think I need to accept that that will be a never ending process!

  • Carrie @ Curly Crafty Mom July 25, 2016 at 10:17 am

    My husband and I both read the love languages book when we were dating and I feel like I could read it again. This is such a good post and I have to agree with all of our tips! I love your top with the black fringe, I have a similar top in olive.

    Carrie
    curlycraftymom.com

  • Sheela Goh July 25, 2016 at 2:29 pm

    What a beautiful post, Rachel, and a timely nudge for everyone, no matter how long they’ve been married 🙂 my man and I have been together for 14 years. It sounds long when I write it down but in truth, I feel as though those years have flown by. Like you and yours, we try very hard to lead by example and are very physically affectionate (the children have offered to spring for hotel rooms a number of times) GRIN one thing I’d like to add to your list is to always treat your spouse with the respect and cordiality you would someone you’re meeting for the very first time. It is NOT easy, I’ll be the first to admit, but it works wonders. You wouldn’t snap at someone you’ve just met nor be rude, even when you’re so tired, you’re about to pass out. Let’s face it, as working adults (and parents for most), civility goes out the window quite quickly when you’re with your other half, and that’s just not right 🙂 we also create mini surprises for each, nothing expensive. For instance, I’d slip a love note into his lunch (which I prepare the night before) that he’d discover at work. He knows I absolutely adore persimmons but they’re so pricey, I believe $6 each right now. He’d buy one, bring it home, and we’d share it, him feeding me 🙂 little things that make up our private love language, I suppose 🙂 xoxo

  • Casey Capra July 25, 2016 at 10:37 pm

    This is a great post! My husband and I are just about to arrive at our first anniversary, so I am always looking for tips and wisdom like this.

  • Rachael Thomas July 25, 2016 at 11:23 pm

    Happy Anniversary and congrats on six years! It sounds like you had a wonderful weekend, and I love this advise you shared. I agree with not going to bed angry, but I do need to work on kissing more!!
    Rachael
    http://www.threadsforthomasblog.com

  • Munchkin Time July 26, 2016 at 10:49 am

    So many beautiful things you have learned in your 6 years of marriage. Thank you so much for sharing!

  • Mackenzie Carol July 26, 2016 at 9:51 pm

    This is such great advice! I may not be married now, but I will definitely tuck these tips away to use someday in the future! Thank you so much for posting this, and for sharing it at the Grace + Lace Linkup!

  • michelle July 28, 2016 at 5:08 pm

    What a sweet post! I am all about physical touch for affection.

    michellespaige.com