When I was a college student I was challenged several times in my bible study (I was active in Campus Crusade for Christ at Radford University) to take or give the 5 Love Languages test to see how others could best know how to make me feel loved, or in turn I make other individuals feel loved. The 5 Love Languages was derived from the studies and book by Gary Chapman called 5 Love Languages (click link for more info). The five love languages include: Acts of Service, Gifts, Words of Affirmation, Touch and Quality time. When I was in college words of affirmation and quality time were very important to me- sometimes getting gifts was high too, depending on the need. These days for me it would be gifts and quality time, these are how I feel loved.
*Image from 5 Love Languages.com
As I became a parent I learned that there was a 5 Love Languages for Children book. It makes sense that if there are 5 key ways to make an adult feel loved then there must be a way to find out how children feel loved too. Now the children’s version pinpoints ages 5 to teen but I am here to tell you I believe it goes younger than that- but it is harder and ever changing. I will list off some ways I believe my 4 children feel loved (currently) and how I can intentionally meet their supposed love language or need.
Nevaeh(age 5)- I am still figuring her out. Let me see if I can recap some ways I know she has felt special or loved lately. She loves snuggles and hugs from my husband and babies, and from myself before school each day. She also likes getting gifts that mean something to her (anything from the movie Frozen, favorite food). So Nevaeh must be touch and gifts. How can I meet her love language throughout the day/week? buy her favorite foods once or twice a week and give it as a surprise. Let her pick our the dinner for the night or snack for school. Give hugs not just before getting on the bus, doing well or before bed but more often than that.
Xander (age 2)- I do believe Xanders way of feeling loved is through quality time and touch. He loves to be held, hugged and too snuggle. He also enjoys the attention of my hubby and I whether it be doing something he likes or we enjoy. He likes to be in our presence. Some ways I can make Xander feel loved are: take him for a walk without the others, hold him no matter what the sit down activity of the day is maybe even during a learning activity, tv or toy play. (You can also view my intentional parenting post on Xander here).
Elizabeth (age 1 and twin of Max)- Elizabeth is her own person, people may think that Elizabeth and Max are the same in everything because they are twins but this isn’t true. Elizabeth loves to snuggle, be held all day and loves cuddles, hugs and kisses. She also likes quality time, for someone to read her a book, walk with her, play with her ( all of this while holding her) so Elizabeth at the moment is DEFINITLY the touch love language and some quality time. Ways I can show Elizabeth I love her might consist of holding her during activities, look at books with her and comment on what she sees and play Patty cake but end in a firm hug and then tickles.
Max (age 1 and twin of Elizabeth)- Max seems to beem up and smile a lot when praised or just when talked “good about” leaving my hubby and I to believe that words of affirmation are how Max feels loved. He loves to clap and laugh or smile when he is praised. I still haven’t figured out what else makes him feel loved. But what I do know is that I need to praise or tell Max more often how much I am proud of him, or happy for his accomplishment with a toy or activity.
All children need to feel loved as this helps with their success in life and how they make others feel important or loved. I know that it takes intentional planning and parenting to love them where they are at but to also figure out what and how to continue to make them feel loved.
I hope you were inspired to learn about the love languages of those you love, whether your spouse, significant others, friends, children or you. This is a great way to be intentional with those around you. If you don’t know anothers love language(s) ask the individuals or just make intentional time with them (or children) to find out what makes them the happiest or loved.
I am excited to be co-hosting the Intentional Parenting link up today with Keri of livinginthisseason.com (you can visit her Intentional Parenting post here on Creating a Family Night) and hoping you will enjoy the giveaway item up for grabs “ABC Scripture cards” Now an introduction from Keri and on to the link up and giveaway.
Hi, my name is Keri, from Living in This Season, and I am so excited you are joining us today! This is the First Intentional Parenting Link Party! This is a monthly link up party at Living In This Season. It is a place for moms to share how they are being intentional with their kids… A place for us all to connect and grow together. I am so excited to see what you all have to share every month! I will always have a spot for a co-host, or two, so please email me at kerisnyder(at)gmail(dot)com for more information! Thank you Rachel, for being a co-host this month- I am so thankful for your friendship and encouragement.
Courtney from This Lil Light O’Mine has so graciously offered a set of ABC Scripture Cards to one of my wonderful readers. I am so excited for one of you to win these! Winner will be announced Thursday, October 9th. Make sure and enter the giveaway below!
Now it is your turn, please link up any ideas you have for being intentional with your kids. This is a place for us to encourage each other and I am excited to see what you all have to share! If you would like to be a guest host for this monthly link party, please email me at kerisnyder(at)gmail(dot)com.
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Now it is your turn to link up!!